Up in the Hollow you can’t get three people together without someone bringing up the latest poop coming out of Washington. Nearly every week we are treated to yet another thinly veiled grab for “your tax dollars at work.” It ticks us off. We work hard for the money. I don’t know about you, but I could live comfortably on what I make—if I was allowed to actually keep it. Income tax when you make it, sales tax when you spend it. Luxury tax on your phone calls, surcharge on your electricity, property tax on the real estate you bought, mortgaged and insured with what was left. Fuel tax, vehicle registration tax, and don’t forget speeding tax when the trooper stops you rushing off to your second job. And they used eliminating double taxation as the excuse for eliminating the tax on dividends. I didn’t get any dividends last year. Did you?

The Hollows seem far removed from the urban jungles that house the halls of power of the new Rome. Maybe that is part of the problem. We seem to live on a different planet than the Big Decision Makers. Our paradigms simply do not mesh. No Ablo Engleesh? We plant, we reap, we plow out our driveways; the seasons dictate our rhythms and activities. We are kind to our neighbors—or just stay out of their way. These basic life lessons are clearly lost on those citizens who opt for a life of “public service” behind the beltway.

Our simpler way of life has little in common with the mind numbing overstimulation of Western civilization. The constant hum of machinery, “popular” music and television, when does it stop? At what point do we Americans come to center? Where is the quiet place where nature replaces the internal combustion engine?

The Forest Service reports that hiking and camping are on the decline in this country. Increasingly, our “vacations” are a hurried, choreographed plunge into a different environment. Is a change really as good as a rest? Or do we return as exhausted by our ordeal as we are exhilarated by the change?

Overweight and overstimulated, obsessed with reality TV—rather than reality itself. We are turning into a society of virtual people. We deny or pervert our flesh and blood and soul needs. We work hard at our jobs, and at our entertainment. But, like a balsa wood boat, it only floats until we hit the first rock.

This is the vulnerability in the American psyche—particularly in the city bound. Bold on the outside—hollow on the inside. Rushing, always rushing, on to the next, before we feel the empty longing lonely sadness of a people exiled from the land.

Some of the most brilliant, educated people—those who truly understand human motivation and desires are, right now, using insight and hard data to sell you things you never knew you needed, and now cannot live without.

For example, wall-to-wall carpeting (a hideous invention that obviously came from a place without Mud Season). Then came the vacuum cleaner; a noisy, energy hogging, dust mite spewing, behemoth. One begot the other. What’s next? How about a nuclear power plant to run the carpet factory and vacuum cleaners.

From time to time marketers will take a break from selling you colored sugar water (soda), or stinky water and alcohol (cologne), to sell you politicians, policies - even war (on drugs, nearly defenseless countries, poverty, terrorism); or on just about anything that moves large sums of taxpayer money into "friendly" pockets.

From time to time marketers will take a break from selling you colored sugar water (soda), or stinky water and alcohol (cologne), to sell you politicians, policies—even war (on drugs, nearly defenseless countries, poverty, terrorism); or on just about anything that moves large sums of taxpayer money into “friendly” pockets.

Already 2-4 billion dollars are missing from the 87 billion sent for Iraqi reconstruction. Of course this is just a guess, as there is just one old man in charge of auditing THE ENTIRE COUNTRY. I wish this wasn't true, but the interviewed the guy on public radio a couple of months ago.....

Here’s a thought: let’s transfer billions of dollars into a war torn country with no government, no auditors, no paper trail. Now let anyone with “proper authorization” walk out with as much money as an SUV can carry.

Already 2-4 billion dollars are missing from the 87 billion sent for Iraqi reconstruction. Of course this is just a guess, as there is just one old man in charge of auditing the entire country. I wish this wasn’t true, but they interviewed the guy on public radio a couple of months ago.

This is corporate greed at its most insidious. Even Andrew Jackson (my former nominee for Most Corrupt President) would be astonished. Lives are irrelevant—if you wear a towel on your head (or in Jackson’s case, if you are a Native American). Blood flows like water across the sand. Haliburton sends us the bill.

I hope everyone understands that it was “Dick” Cheney himself who wrote the original policy paper espousing the idea that government and military services should be outsourced to private companies. Haliburton got the first contract for this new, improved, modern way to provide needed services (we were already receiving).

The myth, and it is a whopper of a lie, is that private corporations can do the job faster, cheaper, and more efficiently than government can. This is laughable subterfuge. Does anyone really believe that a for-profit, company, in bed with selected officials, can operate needed services more efficiently and with less cost than dedicated civil servants with oversight and a clear chain of command?

The last time this myth was crammed down the gullets of a gullible public was when our chance at health care for all was squashed in a massive PR campaign that had even intelligent people mouthing the words “You don’t want the government involved in your health care—do you?” That was only 10 years ago, and the rise, and now impending fall, of the HMOs has, I hope, taught us an incredibly expensive lesson; vital services need to be in the hands of not-for-profit government, rather than for-profit corporations.

Brother, I am here today to say that, having had my health insurance CANCELED after 3 years of payments and never placing a claim: “Yes! I definitely want the government to take back my health care from the greedy medical opportunists.” And that goes double for Haliburton. Send the military ”contractors” back to where they came from

For anyone who is still wavering on this issue, I ask you to remember that Publicly Corporations have fiduciary responsibility to increase shareholder equity. Compare this to cublic service (of the people, by the people, for the people). Makes a whole lot of sense when you see it in black and white! Socialism or Civil Service? I can’t tell them apart, but I don’t want Haliburton running the White House either.

What troubles me is that, outside of the Hollows, I don’t hear a lot of chatter about the pirates running off with our (and Iraq’s) national treasures. Some people even think the pirates might actually get elected into office this time around. If this is just fine with you, exercise your right and pull the lever (or push the button on the non-auditable computer made by a nameless right wing Senator’s company).

But if another four years of rape and pillage is not okay with you—speak up! Lean over to that barely warm body hovering in the next cubicle and ask, “Are you going to put up with any more of this crap?”

All of the world is holding its breath, waiting to see the outcome of November’s race. The world’s view of the USA can be summarized by “American people good—American government bad.” If IQ92 is actually elected (first time for everything), this could quickly shift to “American government bad, American people dumb or bad.”

Dumb or bad? This is a choice?

Given the current fad among some people to scatter their molecules across the landscape in the name of God, this may not be such a great idea. Show the rest of the world we are not a nation of idiots. Encourage your friends to vote.

These essays were written for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Vermont Soap, its employees, board of directors, our Web host, Web designer, the neighbors who live up the road; or any of the thousands of people who use our stuff. Originally published in edited form by Comic News. Many thanks to Seasoned Books, without which, life in the Holler may never have become a reality.