Beater—(Flatland) The car you drive to work. (Vermont) The car you drive.
B-ton or Borington – Largest city in Vermont
Beer—More than just another breakfast food
By The Jesus! – Boy am I impressed!
Chainsaw—A basic tool of survival. Converts sunlight into fuel.
Cant Dog/Cant Hook—Accessory to the above
Downstreet—Where the stores are
The Flats—A rare, long, straight stretch of road. Often with a town constable waiting at the end
Flatlander—Anyone not related by blood to someone who settled in Vermont by the late 1700s. Anyone “Not from ‘round chere”
Holler (Hollows)—a mythical place located between the valleys and the peaks of rural Vermont where rugged individualists cling to the edge of civilization.
Plural of Holler—The plural of Holler is more Holler (not Hollers or Hollows)
Liberal—A Conservative Vermonter (by national standards)
Live and Let Live –Vermont State Motto
Feed the World Garden— What happens when your neighbors leave zucchini in your unlocked car
Farmer’s Market—Where you go to get good local food when your car is locked
Foreign Plates—A visitor from the Flatlands
Huntin’ Season—Three weeks out of the year when you can’t find a plumber, carpenter, or mechanic.
Jeezum Crow—Famous Vermont Cuisine and State Bird
Leaf Peeper Season—Time of year when suicidal color seekers stop unexpectedly in the middle of traffic and take pictures
Liberal Media—Everyone except Rush
Liberal Vermont Democrat Independent Progressive—Most Vermonters’ political persuasion.
Montpeculiar—Capital of Vemont peopled by a strange race of Liberal Do Gooders
Moonlight in Vermont (or die)—Unofficial State Motto
Mud Season—What you get between snow and daisies
Nelson—Feared Superconstable with 3 x the tickets written of any other cop in Vermont
Roadkill—Another famous Vermont Cuisine
Rutvegas – 4th largest city in Vermont
Sugarin’ Season—Characterized by farmers who haven’t slept in a week and steam coming from big outhouses with funny roofs.
The Mountain—Where skiers go
Town—Where skiers seldom go
Transplant—A refugee from urban/suburban USA who goes native. Children of transplants are still transplants.
Vermont Rock—Unique singer/songwriter rock/folk/jamband music style
Work Clothes—(Flatland) The clothes you wear to work. (Vermont) The clothes you wear.
Woodchuck – A real redneck Vermonter. Lives on beer in aluminum cans, pizza and convenience store sandwiches.
Drives a large pick up truck or a Neon with an airfoil. Shy and pragmatic by nature, they are suspicious of anyone they didn’t go to
High School with, and of people who read for pleasure. They are also some of the most honest and hard working people on the planet. Able
to fix anything that’s broke, and shoot anything that’s beyond fixing.
These essays were written for entertainment purposes only. The views
expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Vermont Soap, its
employees, board of directors, our Web host, Web designer, the neighbors who live up the road; or any of the thousands of
people who use our stuff. Originally published in edited form by Comic
News. Many thanks to Seasoned Books, without which, life in the Holler may
never have become a reality. |
