Holler people take a lot of crazy jobs to make the rent. Often, we make our own employment, a tribute to the independent spirit of those who live inhabit the Vermont hills. I am genetically incapable of working for someone else, so 12 years ago I started Vermont Soapworks. We make organic soap and nontoxic cleaners, and other neat natural stuff that foams. We've assembled an impressive array of soapmaking equipment over the years; a fancy steam boiler, lots of kettles, and enough piping to put four plumbers on Prozac.

Not to say that making soap is rocket science or nuclear physics, but it does have a lot in common with the Nuclear Power plant known affectionately as Vermont Yankee.

As you probably already know, Vermont Yankee's new owners, wishing to maximize the return on their shareholder's investment, have asked permission to increase power output significantly at the aging plant. The question of whether this is wise or not is of the utmost importance to the future of life as we know it in New England. Now, I am no nuclear physicist, but I do know a thing or two about making soap. And I also know a thing or two about increasing output from machinery.

We got this fancy steam boiler few years back. We use it to cook up liquid soap base (from organic vegetable oils, water and alkali) in our mixing kettle known affectionately as Big Bertha. Bertha worked steadily for years, but we used a lot of propane, and, it took a week to make a batch of liquid soap. We finally brought in Tad Fyles, propane guru from Fyles Brothers over in Orwell, Vermont. He reset the cut in and cut outs, upped the BTUs, tuned the exhaust. She ran like a Swiss watch.

Now, all that extra power and efficiency meant that Big Bertha got hotter, faster. She boiled over 5 times in 2 weeks. The last time I personally vacuumed up 200 gallons of hot liquid soap. We replaced the thermosensor, and the special thingy that holds it. Now we had to play with the temperature controls and cut in temperature. I am happy to report Bertha is no longer boiling over, and we are experiencing greater efficiency than ever.

Vermont Yankee is an infinitely bigger and more complex version of our fancy little steam maker. Increasing power, especially in aging machinery, begins a cascade upon everything that comes downstream from the source. It takes quite a bit of fine tuning, and some trial and error, to get things working perfectly. There is no sense in indulging in wishful thinking, this is the way of machines.

Fortunately, while we got our act back together, we only lost a few hundred gallons of organic liquid soap. After all - it's not like we're handling radioactive material. That job goes to the experts. Those out of state owners know how to make sure 100 million human lives are 100% safe from harm as they increase power in that old power plant.

We got a saying around here. IF IT AIN'T BROKE DON'T FIX IT. I hope they can hear me out there is Texas, or wherever they make these corporate profit vs destruction of Western Civilization decisions. Guess that's what they make the big bucks for....right?

And speaking of Texas, that is where the Leader of the Free World allegedly told a magazine reporter that, if a product had ANY amount of organic ingredients in it, you could call it an organic product. You got that?

A few weeks later, the USDA announces that it would no longer be in the business of certifying nonfood things as organic. That includes most everything we make over here at the Soapworks in Middlebury, textiles, farmed fish and anything you put on your body. We all commenced to letter writing (emailing actually), and our trade organization, the OTA started talking to them too. Everyone was concerned that stores would become saturated with fake organic products, diluting the intent and mission of the National Organic Program.

It may not have made the headlines, but recently the USDA recanted it's position, and is now BACK in the business of developing organic certification standards for all those agricultural products that do not go into your mouth, or for which standards are not yet completed. Thank You USDA for listening to the will of the people. Government may not be perfect, and democracy is messy; but we do not have to become indentured servants to multi national corporations and their bon amis in elected office.

Actually, the Bush Admonishtration is advocating a RETURN TO NORMALCY. It is unusual, in the history of this fine country, to have a Federal Government that looks after the common folk (everyone but the Patrician Class, current entry fee 50M family net worth). Note: BOTH Presidential front runners belong to this class.

This tear jerking streak of compassion had it's roots in the aftermath of WW II. The Patrician class was truly great full to the normal folk who sacrificed so much to keep them in power and influence. Witness the GI bill, and related programs, which created the strong middle class that has driven the world economy for 60 years. But 60 years is a long time, and few of those in power then, are alive today. Power is an intoxicant few have the strength to resist. It is the natural progression for those who have already acquired enough wealth to support several generations of their families. Money leads to power. Power leads to money. Money and power lead to more money and power. Money follows money, and them that gots....gets! Everyone else gets by.

Yes, this Administration has been a return to normalcy, the rich and powerful getting richer and more powerful by screwing the Middle Class, and oppressing the Lower Financial Classes. You can't make being poor too attractive, or who would put up with the stress of being fully employed?

These essays were written for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Vermont Soap, its employees, board of directors, our Web host, Web designer, the neighbors who live up the road; or any of the thousands of people who use our stuff. Originally published in edited form by Comic News. Many thanks to Seasoned Books, without which, life in the Holler may never have become a reality.