Up in the hollows we tend to imagine that we are far removed from the machinations of big government/big business and their plans for world domination. Course that all goes to hell when the neighbor kid who became a weekend warrior to help with college ends up picking sand fleas in some hell hole just to further enrich a small band of whack heads who already have more than they can spend in three lifetimes.

Mr. Bush and Mr. Kerry: The people do not want war. The people want to party.

Wars make rich people (like Bush and Kerry) richer. And leave a lot of poor folks dead, or worse. This is not the place to bring the atrocities of war into your life. The word war should be enough to send shivers down our collective spines. War is a profoundly anti-life. We are profoundly alive. I should not have to say more. In fact, I would greatly prefer to talk about pioneering a new sustainable Western civilization. But first, we have to stop this adventuring and get down to what is really going on.

What is really going on is the deep-seated human need to party hardy dudes and dudettes! Screw this territorial posturing. Open up a brew. Burn some mother nature. Celebrate life and living, freedom and happiness. Party to the tunes and methods of your choosing, merge with the oneness of our true existence.

Forget Iraq. What this country needs is a rocking party. Not some namby pamby two bit party. I’m talking about a week off with pay—Hey! We deserve it! We are the most highly taxed and overworked society that has ever existed. Shit—at least in Europe they come through in health care. If ever, in all of time and creation, there was a group of people that deserved to party hardy—it is the good old US of A.

Why stop at our own arbitrary manmade borders? Our olive skinned, slant eyed, dark colored brothers and sisters are nothing more than ourselves in different forms. They deserve a rockin party too! A party round the world, dude. Raise a toast of your favorite libation world! We are one people—remarkably similar for all of our obvious differences. Different hues of the same pallet; different fingers of a single hand. Hate another—hate yourself. We are all one and the same. Don’t sweat the petty details—we are all brothers and sisters.

There is no need to follow sociopathic leaders intent on throwing 13 billion years of evolution down the outhouse. Stop participating! If you are a soldier—put down your weapon and refuse to speak. They will have to discharge you on a psycho. If you are a driver—buy only CITGO (see it go) gas from Venezuela. If you are a taxpayer—engage in for-profit entrepreneurial activity in your spare time—and take every legal deduction you are entitled to. Trust me—this is what the big guys do.

Trade in your SUV. Make sure your household has at least 1 really good gas mileage vehicle, motorcycle, or hybrid—and use it as your primary transport. Or just drive less, and take mass transport when you go down county.

Listen, the absolutely most dangerous thing on earth is perception. If you don’t notice something it is invisible to you. Once you do notice it, lots of other people begin to notice it too. This is one of the basic laws of being human.

All action stems from perception. And perception is altered and influenced by philosophy.

Quick! Slap yourself! Stifle that yawn. What in the world does philosophy have to do with you? Pretty much everything. Look at it this way: A paranoid sees in the world everything to justify his position. Some see good—some see evil. Some wake up happy, some wake up bitchy. It all begins with your worldview—your philosophy.

The whole world is out there – or in there depending on you point of view. The parts you notice—or miss, are all determined by your philosophy. Some things are so ingrained they are invisible—to you and to all who share your worldview.

I call this “Chicken Soup Philosophy.” All the world is chicken soup. One person only notices the broth, “It’s all a thin liquid!” Another sees only the meat. For others it’s a vegetable world.

Everything we encounter conspires to affirm our view.

A mind is an incredible thing. It takes this mash of chicken soup (all of existence), and breaks it down into manageable “things.” Of course a thing can be as big as a galaxy or as small as an atom. It is as esoteric or mundane as we choose to make it. In this sense, the mind is a filter. Don’t limit yourself—a mind is a creative tool as well. Amazing! The fact that you are reading these words is a fucking miracle

Since we either create a sustainable Western civilization or destroy ourselves and most of this planet’s species over the next 50 years or so; and since to do this we must collectively alter our perception of what is “normal” for being human; and since philosophy is the root of perception; what this civilization needs (besides a really kick ass week-long party with pay) is a new world view.

A new world view is not a religion. A new world view would have to be compatible with the (remarkably similar, non-harming) religions of this day. All of them. A worldview that makes international adventuring an oxymoron. That makes incomprehensible that the accumulation of resources to feed a hundred villages can be held in the hands of a single individual. That renders us incapable of harming another soul—human or otherwise. Remember: Above all else—do no harm.

So party hardy friends, this is nothing less than bringing the world from disorder to order. And it all starts with a small shift in perception and philosophy.

These essays were written for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Vermont Soap, its employees, board of directors, our Web host, Web designer, the neighbors who live up the road; or any of the thousands of people who use our stuff. Originally published in edited form by Comic News. Many thanks to Seasoned Books, without which, life in the Holler may never have become a reality.