Now that things have settled into a winter routine, it’s time for thinking people to look beyond their valleys and Hollows and contemplate the big socio-economic picture. When did Vermont suddenly become part of the global cheap energy economy? And is it good for our grandchildren? In true Hollow style we promise you easy answers to life’s difficult questions. But first, we must venture into deep philosophy. To do this, we rented Forrest Gump for the umpteenth time.

Forrest Gump was perplexed by two very different world views: “Is one’s experience of life a series of random, chaotic instances, or do we each have a destiny we must fulfill?” These are questions that have vexed thinking humans since the invention of language. Whole religions have sprung up around it. Fortunately for you, the reader, Comic Bob only gives me 6650 letters and spaces with which to illumine life’s murky corners. Therefore, I will cut to the chase. In fact, neither answer is correct. There are no coincidences, and the only true destiny we have is to remember who we are underneath the game of hide and seek we call ourselves.

Everything we experience in between that is either a) a lesson we need to learn; or b) our own creativity at work, c) see a & b

This knowledge may not help you with the burden you alone carry each day. But then again, it just might.

Up in the Hollow we’ve got this thing we call 2 by 4 (2 x 4) karma. Here’s how it works: let’s say you got this lesson you need to learn right now for some reason. First, you start to hear it a few times. Then, someone tells you to your face, but you may not really listen. Then, you get a gentle tap to see if you are awake. If, at this point you still don’t get the lesson, Life whups you upside the head with a 2 x 4. If, like many of us, you still don’t listen, well, I am not responsible for what comes next. Trust the Soapman, you want to figure it out before the 2 x 4—not after.

Ayup. Guess we’ve all felt the wind as that 2 x 4 just missed our thick skulls. Hollow folk learn to duck real fast. Personally, I hate the damn 2 x 4. Once in a while I can keep someone else from feeling it’s sting, but not usually.

Life may appear chaotic, but I derive great comfort from knowing that there are rules, laws, and themes that run thick through it all. Religions may claim to have a monopoly on truth. The Soapman says that truth is all around us. And it is by mindful contemplation of nature, and of people, that we begin to see how the whole thing works. It is not necessary to twist yourself up like a pretzel to do this; although you are certainly welcome to do so if you like.

Observing humans and nature, besides being endlessly amusing and varied, will reveal many continuities that run through both, and many tantalizing possibilities. Here’s one to get you warmed up: Newton’s first law of thermodynamics states that matter and energy two sides of one coin, and that matter/energy cannot be created nor destroyed. Good one Newton! Think about this long enough and you will realize that this Law is quite correct (under most circumstances), and since it is correct, one may go on to extrapolate this Law in relation to being alive. This is important since one day we will be dead. And dead means one of three things:

A) You are gone, caput, sayonara, fini, no backs. B) You come back in some kind of a body or go somewhere in some kind of a body C) You go to your designated area ‘till forever is over.

Using the Hollow Rule of Universal Extrapolation (patent pending), we can apply Newton’s First Law to the question on the table. A) You are gone You are definitely not here, but are YOU actually gone? B) You come back, this is possible under Newton C) You go to your designated area. Well, it could be that way.

Confused? Me too. Truth is, no one really knows what happens when you go.

That is what makes it such big business.

These essays were written for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Vermont Soap, its employees, board of directors, our Web host, Web designer, the neighbors who live up the road; or any of the thousands of people who use our stuff. Originally published in edited form by Comic News. Many thanks to Seasoned Books, without which, life in the Holler may never have become a reality.